it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
