apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
