I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
