I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
