just come out here and I will go home with you...
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i drank out of a bidet.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
