She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
