I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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