i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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