Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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