well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Also, beer. Big fan.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
