She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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