So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
