I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
