puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Oh god it's open bar.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
