PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
