I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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