She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
