Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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