Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Mom said you looked used
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
