I wish I could teleport
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
