oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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