Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
