your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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