I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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