fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I look better un-naked...
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
