so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
