But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize