Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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