It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize