i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
