I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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