im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize