That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
