i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
