First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
