those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
