I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
there was a trapeze. enough said
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
