BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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