So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
