wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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