We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Randomize
