his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
