..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
