So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
