remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
