Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
A+ Viking dick
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
