We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize