just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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