ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize