Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
