Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
