who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Randomize