Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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