you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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