Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
