I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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