I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize